like. this letter right?

I got a letter from my godmother/aunt from Taiwan.
its a card, but she like wrote on 5 faces of the card all in chinese.
the problem? I have no idea what it says and I don't know if I want my mom to be reading it to me because there's gotta be a reason it was written to me.

I know I have problems communicating with my parents.
just thinking about it makes my stomach drop.
I don't like talking about it; and you will rarely hear about it from me
(if I can help it. and if you do, I'm probably already crying anyways)

Everybody's been getting sick. boo. no fun.
Mono and bronchitis are going around as well as the usual flu.
Hope you all stay healthy.

I realized I hide a lot more feelings than I thought.
I havent yet found a way to release them in a way that I am comfortable with.
I'm trying to find that.

This second semester has been better than the first so far.
Maybe a bit more boring. but its going well.

I'm tired. I wanna sleep.
I don't want to be alone.
I don't want to be misunderstood.
I wanna know what this damn card says!

I am pretty sure I do not want to hear what she has to say.
why? because I'm ignorant? yes arent we all on some occasion? :P
because it is most likely things I have already heard or thought through just coming from a different mouth AND in a different language.
Do I care? hell yes.
Why don't I show it? because I don't have time to. and why should I? so I can become swallowed in my own pity? No thanks.

Sometimes I wish I had no expression. Like there was no such thing as expression so we'd all be that blank canvas.

I like control.
by the way.
I've been loosing control of my emotions.
and other aspects of my life as well.
whatever.


latah