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peace.


wow I'm lamee :P ahah

another another survey

STEP ONE:
1. Spell your name with songs:

I ris- Goo Goo Dolls
R emember to Breathe- Dashboard Confessional
I 'm Yours- Jason Mraz
S orry- Buckcherry

STEP TWO:
2. Name: iris
3. Birth date: 4.5
4. Nickname: [lastname]
5. Eye Color: brown
6. Hair Color: dark..
7. Zodiac Sign: aries

STEP THREE:
8. The shoes you wore today: chucks
9. Your fear(s): fear
10. Your perfect pizza: CPK?
11. Goal you’d like to achieve: be happy. Think. Learn.

STEP FOUR:
12. Your best physical feature: smile/teeth? you tell meh
13. Your bedtime? none/late
14. Most missed memory? young and innocent.

STEP FIVE:
This Or That…
15. Pepsi or Coke? COKE
16. McDonald’s or Burger King: I don't really like either but I guess BK
17. Adidas or Nike: Adidas fit me better..
18. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton.
19. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
20. Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

STEP SIX:
Do You…
21. Smoke: no
22. Curse: yes
23. Sing: try
24. Dance: try
25. Take a shower everyday: yes
26. Have a crush: no :/
27. Want to go to college: yes.
28. Like(d) high school: sure.
29. Want to get married: yes
30. Get motion sickness: idk.. idts
31. Think you’re attractive: yes? idk you tell me.
32. Get along with your parents: something like that..

STEP SEVEN:
In the past month…
33. Gone to the mall: yeah
34. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no
35. Eaten Sushi: no
36. Been on stage: yes
37. Been dumped: no
38. Gone skating: no
39. Made homemade cookies: no
40. Gone Skinny dipping: no
41. Stolen anything: nada

STEP EIGHT:
Ever…
42. Been beaten up: no
43. Shoplifted: no

STEP NINE:
44. Age you hope to be married: idc as long as its to the right person.
45. Numbers of Children: no more than 3, if any at all
46. Describe your Dream Wedding: Loving. that's all that matters.
47. What country would you most like to visit? taiwan,france

STEP TEN:
In the opposite sex..
48. Best eye color?: doesnt matter
49. Best hair color?: doesn't matter. its gotta be sexy =P
50. Short hair or long hair?: how bout clean?
51. Height: don't care. probably taller though than me.
52. Best weight: more than me?
53. Best articles of clothing: I like a boy with style. :P

STEP ELEVEN:
54. Number of CDs that I own: idk
55. Number of tattoos: none
56. Number of piercings: one on each ear.

Personal Quiz
57. Who were you with yesterday? whoever the hell goes to my chinese school and ike.
58. What woke you up this morning? mom
59. Where are you? desk
60. Is tomorrow going to be a good day? sure.
61. Did you kiss someone today? no
62. Do you like anybody? idts

THE PAST
63. Passed out because of alcohol? no
64. What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? peace

THE FUTURE
65. What kind of home would you like? pretty one
66. What do you want to be when you grow up? successful/happy.
67. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? college/univ

IN GENERAL
68. Do you like candy necklaces? YES
69. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? today, a door.
70. Do you listen to music every day? pretty much
71. Do you still go trick or treating? yes
72. What was the last thing you ate? pizza.
73. Are you a fast typer? i'm okay.
74. About how many people have you liked/had a crush on? lol lost count
75. Whats your favorite type of soda? monster?
76. Have you ever moved? no
77. Have you ever won an award? yes
78. What do you want to do right now? think
79. Are you listening to music right now? no.
80. What's a quote that you love? "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"
81. How long ’till your birthday? 36 days
82. When were you the saddest in your whole life? not answering.
83. What time is it? 6:19
84. Do you use ebay to buy or sell? no
85. Who makes you mad? lotta ppl
86. Have you ever heard a song written about you? yeah

HONESTY SECTION
86. Honestly, what color is your underwear? red
87. Honestly, whats on your mind? anger
88. Honestly, what are you doing right now? this
89. Honestly, have you done something bad today? nope
90. Honestly, who is the last person you texted? notxt
91. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? possibly
92. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? people
93. Honestly, do you bite your nails? yes
94. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? probably.
95. Honestly, do you like anyone? possibly
96. Honestly, does anyone like you? yeah

ANGER SECTION

97. What do you do when you’re mad? suck it in. or i get hystarical.
98. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? well once I kicked a hole in my wall like the size of my foot..
99. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? yep
100. Do you swear when you’re mad? yep

CRYING SECTION
101.When was the last time you actually cried? idr
102. Ever cried yourself to sleep? yes
103. Do certain songs make you cry? yes
104. What usually makes you cry? death.

HAPPY SECTION
105. Are you usually a happy person? to me no, to others yes.
106. What makes you the happiest? love.peace.
107. Do you believe in yourself? usually
108. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, does it make you happy? it's flattering that's it.

you make me sick to the stomach.

Crying inside.
Hearts beating.
Anger. Sadness.
Overwhelming emotion.
Stress.

Decisions. Unknown.
Unwanting. Unlikely.

Choices. Chairs.
Silence.
Dead Silence.
nothing else.

Words don't speak.
breaths stop short.
anger builds.

happy mardi gras!

eat a paczki :D its okay ONE won't kill you.

uhh NYCL

I just got invited to attend the National Young Leaders Conference.

Opportunity much?
:/

V for Vendetta Quotes

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! [He slashes a large V through a propaganda poster.] The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. [giggles] Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me "V"."

"The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world."
[not saying that blowing up a building is a good idea son.]

"Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."

"My father was a writer. You would've liked him. He used to say that artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up."



peacee.

use one word.

Go ahead and copy this, then paste it into your own note and tag those you want to share with! Rules: Use one word to answer.


Where is your cell phone? pants

Your significant other? nada

Your hair? clean

Your mother? talking

Your father? talking

Your favorite thing? you.

Your dream last night? forgotten

Your favorite drink? water

Your dream/goal? plenty

What room are you in? desk

Your hobby? changes

Your fear? fear.

What do you want to be in 6 years? happy

Where were you last night? bed

Something that you aren't? BOY

Muffins? chocolate

Wish list item? fake

Last thing you did? blink

TV? bored

Your pets? none

Friends? sure

Your life? fine.

Your mood? sleepy

Missing someone? yes

Drinking? and?

Smoking? KILLS

Your car? no

Something you're not wearing? gloves!

Your favorite store? shiny

Your favorite color? rainbow

When is the last time you cried? friday

Where do you go to over and over? bathroom

Favorite place to eat? home

Favorite place I'd like to be right now? everywhere/nowhere.
[in your arms ;]

OKAY this was hard. one word doesnt work :[ but I tried
which mostly means the questions went unanswered sorry!

What it Means To Be Young- by Samuel Ullman

What It Means To Be Young
By Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips, and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means the predominance of courage over timidity, of adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than in a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair - these bow the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the love of wonder, the sweet amazement at the stars and the starlike things, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing child-like appetite for what-next, and the joy of the game of living.

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt;
as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear;
as young as your hope, as old as your despair.

NY Fashion Week 2009

Just a few-

Milly by Michelle Smith

Carlos Miele

Malo

Rodarte

Miss Sixty

Carolina Herrera


BE SURE TO CHECK OUT:
Jason Wu
Alexander Wang
Preen
BCBGmaxazria
Lela Rose
Barbie's 50th Anniversary designer catwalk

Something To Think About

A blind girl hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I would marry you."
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her.
When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?"
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind.
The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.
She hadn't expected that.
The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
"Take good care of your eyes, my dear, before they were yours, they were mine."

This is how the human brain often works when our 'status changes'.
Only a very few remember what life was like before and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life is a gift.

Today before you say an unkind word- Think of someone who cannot speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food- Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife- Think of someone who's crying out for a companion.

Today before you complain about life- Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you argue about your dirty house that someone didn't clean or sweep- Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive- Think of someone who must walk the same distance.

And when you are tired and complain about your job- Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

Before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another- Remember that not one of us is without error and we all answer to God.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down- Put a smile on your face and thank God you're alive and still around.



Thanks Alex for getting this to me :]

<3

uh lettter was just read

didn't get parts. uh the overall of it.
something about me growing up and how i should be more thoughtful.


and you know what i feel right now?
shit.
i feel like crying.
over nothing.
over everything.
over nothing.

plus it doesnt help that i have this cramp that's been coming and going for the past 2 days that makes me get a feeling that i have to hurl.
so now ima hurl and cry thanks.

ugh
i dont know.
i am stubborn.

dammmitttt

when i say leave me alone, can you respect that and just leave.me.the.fuck.alone?

i have an attitude.

fuck great.
so i'm stubborn and i have an attitude.
these are self made conclusions.
but someone's told me them before.

wanna make me swim in my ocean of guilt?

you're making me drown.

i am drowning.

like. this letter right?

I got a letter from my godmother/aunt from Taiwan.
its a card, but she like wrote on 5 faces of the card all in chinese.
the problem? I have no idea what it says and I don't know if I want my mom to be reading it to me because there's gotta be a reason it was written to me.

I know I have problems communicating with my parents.
just thinking about it makes my stomach drop.
I don't like talking about it; and you will rarely hear about it from me
(if I can help it. and if you do, I'm probably already crying anyways)

Everybody's been getting sick. boo. no fun.
Mono and bronchitis are going around as well as the usual flu.
Hope you all stay healthy.

I realized I hide a lot more feelings than I thought.
I havent yet found a way to release them in a way that I am comfortable with.
I'm trying to find that.

This second semester has been better than the first so far.
Maybe a bit more boring. but its going well.

I'm tired. I wanna sleep.
I don't want to be alone.
I don't want to be misunderstood.
I wanna know what this damn card says!

I am pretty sure I do not want to hear what she has to say.
why? because I'm ignorant? yes arent we all on some occasion? :P
because it is most likely things I have already heard or thought through just coming from a different mouth AND in a different language.
Do I care? hell yes.
Why don't I show it? because I don't have time to. and why should I? so I can become swallowed in my own pity? No thanks.

Sometimes I wish I had no expression. Like there was no such thing as expression so we'd all be that blank canvas.

I like control.
by the way.
I've been loosing control of my emotions.
and other aspects of my life as well.
whatever.


latah

Distraught

They don't want me dead.
but it doesn't feel like they want me alive either.
You talk in circles, as do I. Yours lead to nowhere with points that only increase my feelings of emptiness.
I want to bleed. I want to hurt. I do not know what it is anymore.
You ask me why I think I need help. I tell you because I feel empty inside.
You tell me that I am the only one that can change me.
Yet you were the one that had asked if I wanted help. I had angrily said no that time.
I ask you now that I want help. You tell me I am the only one that can change me.
You do not say no. You ask why I think I need help. I say because I am lost. Because I feel like now I do not do things out of love or anything near that but just to finish them because I know I have to.

What do you want?
You say that on Friday I was fine.
I tell you that I was. I felt happy.
that I am hella good at hiding.
I know I am.
You tell me that sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I am angry.
You make it sound like it is just a phase.
You make it sound like it will pass.
WELL TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
search back a good 9 months back.
do you realize that IT HASN'T CHANGED?

I want to bleed.
I want to feel pain.
I want to stop crying.

I am alone.
I want me to talk to you.
I talk.
I speak.
I ask.
I listen.

It's like you want me to just hide away all my feelings.
suck it up. as I have been for the past. The past what? 6 years?

You say I'm too angry.
Yet your the one that starts raising your voice.

I feel like your mocking me now.
You request that I go to you to seek help.
I listen.
I get nothing.
I feel insulted.
I feel hurt.
I feel neglected.
but I am not neglected.
I am angry again.

but then again, that's all I think.
you want me to take you seriously
for me to take myself seriously
but then you oppose that with just the opposite.

Tear me up.
I'll scream.

I am sick of hearing this same conversation this entire time.
Over and over again.
I cry just because we're having the same conversation.
still. with time you say it will change.
you say it still hasn't been enough time.
I say there hasn't been any change.


I lie. I lie to you. You who are reading this.
"I am fine." Whether you believe it or not I do not know. Does it matter? barely.
Whether you care or not. I do not know if I want to know.

There is something wrong with me.
:[ There's no helping hand that I wanna hold.
I am scared for myself.


I cry.
I say, my voice finally raising.
Fine. I don't need help.
As I fresh tears burst from my eyes.
I quickly turn.
Take a deep intake breath.
and tears stop.

I am shaking in fear.
What am I afraid of?
figure it out.
What do I want?
Everything.
What do I need?
peace love and happiness.

How am I?
I am very distraught.

To Buy or Not to Buy

[ this was written for willette 4th hour. we had to rewrite the To be or Not to Be speech from Hamlet by Shakespeare and make it our own. Here's mine. Please take your time to read]



To buy, or not to buy: that is the question:
Whether 'tis more stunning than a sparkling diamond
The delicate silks and dashing designs of Alberta Ferretti ,
Or take a walk down the promenade of Champs-Elysees,
And say no to this paramount? To shop: to drop;
Keep looking; and don’t stop
Once you find that perfect fit for you, keep heads turning
That unforgettable lust for eyes fixed
Devouring your every step. To shop, to drop;
To drop: dead at the sight of the amount you spent;
For maybe it’s the one thing thou put to rest those sleepless nights.
When we look back at the time that was wasted,
Pause the time, we were young. We were restless.
We made the days envious of the nights
For we got wasted away with time and money,
The lasting memories would be lost at dusk,
The camera captured our life off guard,
The last light glistened, but time did not freeze
That look on your face, that dress that you wore,
When you look in a mirror you wonder
With a smile and a shine why spend so much? One wants,
To remember those vibrant smiles
But you cannot, the nights have been captured but you have forgotten,
The dress that you wore and the songs that you danced
No one questions what time left untold,
And why we spent so much of our youth wasting time.
Than to tell that untold story, return that unworn dress?
Thus conscience does remind us all;
And thus the reality comes forth to show us light
Is the present’s just a pleasant interruption to the past,
And now we’ve arrived here, the present
With this curious change of speed and time,
And forgive yourself. – But don’t forget!
That unforgettable night! You are remarkable enough.
Be all youth unwind.

CSNY09

was amazing <3
hands down.
I will cont this later.
(yes like a reflection hopefully sometime this week cuze I am, I AM PROUD.) :] <3



and this my dear was my MC partner
and one of my near and dearest friends to me.
Always [:

(hopefully+for the best and worst of times)