play list.

Do you get it?
It's not just you.
It's probably more me than you.
I'd hate to think it's you.

I don't want to risk myself. I don't want to make myself vulnerable to you.
You can make me feel so different like maybe for a split second, I'm not alone. Just a second. It seems to go away just as quick.

Sadly, I have come to the realization of what I have been doing- to myself.
It sucks. Who am I harming/putting at risk?
Only me.

This so called '' play list" I want to over come it.
No, not by doing everybody on that list.
I don't want that list. It's like I know what you want. I want the same thing
but I want something, someone to be there for me.
and I mean really be there for once for me for a conversation but still more.
Incomplete?

Boys. that's the 'you'
the play list.
you could be on it.
(it's two words in this sense. think about it, you might get it.)

Zach told me, just stop it then if you don't want to go on like this anymore.
I can. but I can't. I need something to fill that if I am going to stop and this is hurting me emotionally as opposed to physically.

Someone fill that empty space. in my mind&heart.


listen to:
-Chemistry of a Car Crash- Shiny Toy Cars
-Lovely- Breathe Carolina (one of my faves:)

Iris was here.