yelling anymore.
I hear it, I wanna cry.
what's happened.
what hasnt.
I can't block much out anymore.
not anymore.
not since that was something I used to do
and got me nowhere.
yet somehow.
I still do.
:[
why.
CSNY 09 last year for me
tonight.
adams high
catch ya there.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
i hate it whennnnnnn-
you have a really good thought in your head and then
when you wanna say it
you totally forget it.
ohdarn.
when you wanna say it
you totally forget it.
ohdarn.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
新年快樂. 09
Happy lunar/chinese new year. (it's tomorrow.)
so you make me feel worthless.
you people that mean NOTHING to me.
that are barely worth anything
are yet to break me.
but maybe you already have
and maybe i'm just getting used to the feeling and starting to accept it
no it doesnt mean all of you are like this
but dammit.
YOU became just another one of them
that have made me feel
like i am worth nothing
a name you really do not need to know
a face you wanna see
and not much else
not a person to care for, or a person with emotion you care about..
wth am i talking about now.
peace. i'm hitting the bed.
so you make me feel worthless.
you people that mean NOTHING to me.
that are barely worth anything
are yet to break me.
but maybe you already have
and maybe i'm just getting used to the feeling and starting to accept it
no it doesnt mean all of you are like this
but dammit.
YOU became just another one of them
that have made me feel
like i am worth nothing
a name you really do not need to know
a face you wanna see
and not much else
not a person to care for, or a person with emotion you care about..
wth am i talking about now.
peace. i'm hitting the bed.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
63
01. Smoked
02. Drank alcohol
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose .
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 18/30
31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. made beans.
40. Been in love.
41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy .
60. Been to a motocross race.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 37/60
61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush .
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore .
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 54/90
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 63/100
haha no i'm wondering why the hell i just did that. whatever :!
boredom budddddddy.
02. Drank alcohol
03. Cried when someone died.
04. Been drunk.
05. Had sex.
06. Been to a concert.
07. Gotten/given a hand job.
08. Been verbally/sexually harassed.
09. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.
11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose .
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
15. Been to prom.
16. Cried at school.
17. Gotten lost in a Wal-Mart or a department store.
18. Went streaking.
19. Given or received a lap dance.
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
23. Kissed a stranger.
24. Hugged a stranger.
25. Went scuba diving.
26. Driven a car.
27. Gotten an x-ray.
28. Hit by a car.
29. Had a party.
30. Done drugs.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 18/30
31. Played strip poker/darts/pool.
32. Got paid to strip for someone.
33. Run away from home.
34. Broken a bone.
35. Eaten sushi.
36. Bought porn.
37. Watched porn.
38. Made porn.
39. made beans.
40. Been in love.
41. French kissed.
42. Laughed so hard you cried.
43. Cried yourself to sleep.
44. Laughed yourself to sleep.
45. Stabbed yourself.
46. Shot a gun.
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
50. Watched an animal die.
51. Watched a person die.
52. Kissed somewhere with at least 1 person present.
53. Pranked somebody.
54. Put somebody in the hospital.
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
56. made spicy beans.
57. Dressed punk.
58. Dressed Goth.
59. Dressed preppy .
60. Been to a motocross race.
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 37/60
61. Avoided somebody.
62. Been stalked.
63. Stalked someone.
64. Met celebrity.
65. Played an instrument.
66. Ridden a horse.
67. Cut yourself.
68. Bungee jumped.
69. Ding dong ditched somebody.
70. Been to a wild party.
71. Been caught stealing something.
72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls.
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
74. Gone out with your friend's crush .
75. Got arrested.
76. Been pregnant.
77. Babysat.
78. Been to another country.
79. Started your house on fire.
80. Had an encounter with a ghost.
81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 2 months.
85. Sat on your butt all day.
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
87. Had a job.
88. Gotten cut from a sports team.
89. Been called a whore.
90. Danced like a whore .
PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 54/90
91. Been mistaken for a celebrity.
92. Been in a car accident.
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
95. Raped somebody.
96. Danced in the rain.
97. Been rejected.
98. Left a restaurant without paying.
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.
100. Been raped.
TOTAL PERCENTAGE: 63/100
haha no i'm wondering why the hell i just did that. whatever :!
boredom budddddddy.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Hero?
In my opinion, a hero is someone who makes an impact on our lives in a positive way that brings change in mind. A hero can help you differ good and bad, as well as guiding us through bad times. This person (or these people) may be a hero to one person personally or many people because of the impact they make in a region or society. Therefore, I believe I have many heroes. Many people have influenced me. I would not and cannot pinpoint one specific person to be my "hero." Not because what one person does does not effect me but because I am unsure of a particular being's impact on me that have helped me differ good and bad. Friends around me always given me advice and show me new ways. Family supports me, and society, or things in society give me new light on some decisions we make as well as the consequences. Media plays a big part of how we view life and other things. Someone whom I can see as a hero is someone who gives you what is real, is willing to share, to help others, and wants to prevent someone from making the same mistakes over. Also, a hero to me is someone that is willing to be there for others when they can. It is someone that can show strength, willpower, expand on what they want, and show inspiration to others.
do i make sense? probably not... do i ever? :P
do i make sense? probably not... do i ever? :P
Friday, January 16, 2009
survery- from alicia from joy
001. Real name → IRIS ayting w.
002. Nickname(s) --> wenwen
003. Status → single
004. Zodiac sign → aries
005. Male or female → female
006. Elementary → BECK CENTENNIAL!
007. Middle School → shelby
008. High School -> ike
010. Hair color → black
011. Tall or Short → taller than short ppl :P
012. Loud or Quiet -> most likely loud
013. Sweats or Jeans → i don't like pants but if i have to choose jeans.
014. Phone or Camera → if i had to pick between them? phone.
015. Health freak → depends.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? yes
018. Eat or Drink --> i like to eat yes. and i drink water thanks.
019. Piercings → just ears. pft. like i ever wear earings
020. Tattoos → nada
021. Water or Fire? --> water kills fires
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → "can the love of my life have 4 billion dollars to give me? ^^" -alicia's response is staying there bc I like it. but my first answer woulda been love.
FIRSTS:
023. First fear → SPIDERS
024. First best friend → rachel!
025. First award --> "does a birth certificate count?"(alicia)
026. First crush → OMG TOM FUCKING FELTON!!
027. First pet --> goldfish
028. First big vacation → taiwan!
030. First big birthday --> all i remember is a lot of ppl in my house and us running around..
CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → a doughnut (that has gummy bears and m&m's on it! )
050. Drinking → nothing
052. I'm about to → move onto 53?
053. Listening to → the sound of food being cooked :]
054. Plans for today → no more plans. just got back from shopping :)
055. Waiting for → my mom to say dinner's ready.
YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → depends. :/
059. Want to get married? → WILL I? haha yes i'd love to...
060. Careers in mind → OH YOU KNOW. stripper, prostitute, your everyday WHORE. JK JK. omgg. something with business probably
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → eyes
070. Shorter or taller? --> taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → both. but if i had to pick romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms -> arms
074. Sensitive or loud → loud is annoying. so is sensative. can he just be like outgoing instead of loud?
075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → hesitant is better than trouble maker i'll say but somewhere in the middle
HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → yep
081. Ran away from home → sorta.
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → sorta.
083. Killed somebody → NOPE
084. Been heartbroken → more like disappointed but sure yes.
085. Been arrested → nope
087. Cried when someone died → yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → occasions
090. Miracles → maybe. depends on the circumstances
091. Love at first sight → maybe..
092. Heaven → sure!
093. Santa Claus → I LOVE YOU SANTA. no
095. Kiss on the first date → HAHAHA stupid question. yesss....
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → very much.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life →nope
099. Do you believe in God → to some extent yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people → NO
002. Nickname(s) --> wenwen
003. Status → single
004. Zodiac sign → aries
005. Male or female → female
006. Elementary → BECK CENTENNIAL!
007. Middle School → shelby
008. High School -> ike
010. Hair color → black
011. Tall or Short → taller than short ppl :P
012. Loud or Quiet -> most likely loud
013. Sweats or Jeans → i don't like pants but if i have to choose jeans.
014. Phone or Camera → if i had to pick between them? phone.
015. Health freak → depends.
017. Do you have a crush on someone? yes
018. Eat or Drink --> i like to eat yes. and i drink water thanks.
019. Piercings → just ears. pft. like i ever wear earings
020. Tattoos → nada
021. Water or Fire? --> water kills fires
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → "can the love of my life have 4 billion dollars to give me? ^^" -alicia's response is staying there bc I like it. but my first answer woulda been love.
FIRSTS:
023. First fear → SPIDERS
024. First best friend → rachel!
025. First award --> "does a birth certificate count?"(alicia)
026. First crush → OMG TOM FUCKING FELTON!!
027. First pet --> goldfish
028. First big vacation → taiwan!
030. First big birthday --> all i remember is a lot of ppl in my house and us running around..
CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → a doughnut (that has gummy bears and m&m's on it! )
050. Drinking → nothing
052. I'm about to → move onto 53?
053. Listening to → the sound of food being cooked :]
054. Plans for today → no more plans. just got back from shopping :)
055. Waiting for → my mom to say dinner's ready.
YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? → depends. :/
059. Want to get married? → WILL I? haha yes i'd love to...
060. Careers in mind → OH YOU KNOW. stripper, prostitute, your everyday WHORE. JK JK. omgg. something with business probably
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → eyes
070. Shorter or taller? --> taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → both. but if i had to pick romantic
073. Nice stomach or nice arms -> arms
074. Sensitive or loud → loud is annoying. so is sensative. can he just be like outgoing instead of loud?
075. Hook-up or relationship → relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → hesitant is better than trouble maker i'll say but somewhere in the middle
HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → yep
081. Ran away from home → sorta.
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → sorta.
083. Killed somebody → NOPE
084. Been heartbroken → more like disappointed but sure yes.
085. Been arrested → nope
087. Cried when someone died → yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → occasions
090. Miracles → maybe. depends on the circumstances
091. Love at first sight → maybe..
092. Heaven → sure!
093. Santa Claus → I LOVE YOU SANTA. no
095. Kiss on the first date → HAHAHA stupid question. yesss....
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → very much.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life →nope
099. Do you believe in God → to some extent yes.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people → NO
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
that unwritten story
most of us have a story that has gone untold.
this story, when is it the right time to tell it?
do we tell it all at once or drop it piece by piece?
I believe you should tell it when you are ready to the right people.
just if we all had a bit more tolerance and compassion in this world we would remember that we are all only human? we are many things.
and that unwritten story that you don't know anything about, the one that is disclosed to most of you, might just be the one that has made them the person they are today.
I do have more to say on this, but at this moment that is all i want to say.
this story, when is it the right time to tell it?
do we tell it all at once or drop it piece by piece?
I believe you should tell it when you are ready to the right people.
just if we all had a bit more tolerance and compassion in this world we would remember that we are all only human? we are many things.
and that unwritten story that you don't know anything about, the one that is disclosed to most of you, might just be the one that has made them the person they are today.
I do have more to say on this, but at this moment that is all i want to say.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
contract some muscles.
gimme something to fucking smile about.
and really smile not just one i fake so you leave me the fuck alone and you think that everything's okay.
i have a temper i know.
i am angry.
i am not happy.
or should i srsly just fucking force myself to be some fucked up optimist bleeding and cutting inside?
yeah i tried and srsly i think it only sucked me deeper.
WTH.
and really smile not just one i fake so you leave me the fuck alone and you think that everything's okay.
i have a temper i know.
i am angry.
i am not happy.
or should i srsly just fucking force myself to be some fucked up optimist bleeding and cutting inside?
yeah i tried and srsly i think it only sucked me deeper.
WTH.
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