What is this boredom?

If life is an adventure how do we get bored?
we are always doing something whether we know it or not
blood is getting pumped through our heart
and the world is ever so fast paste

exams are next week
i should begin to study
i'm sitting here waiting
like the books will learn themselves

how sad is it this?
i have a
-yahoo
-myspace
-facebook
-xanga
-blogspot
-youtube
-photobucket
-purevolume
... and a few others I cant think of :O
:X

another.. 2008 is over! lolz

Can you take this without deleting any questions ?
waste of a question. YES

What's going on between you and the last person you kissed ?
nothingnothing. I don't like him. He's a 'friend'

What was your worst mistake in your life ?
liking boys? haha idk denial.

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you ?
nope nope nope

What's something you really want right now, be honest ?
my boy to cuddle with.

When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach ?
when i last spoke to j-----

Does anything hurt on your body ?
yes my legs from over stretching a bit in yoga

Who was the last person to disappoint you ?
mememe

Do you still talk to that person ?
lol NO. hell yeah... !

What are you listening to right now ?
wish we were older- metro station

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall ?
hah YES

Do you know someone in jail ?
sorta yeah.

Where were you at midnight last night ?
Hairspray!

Where's the weirdest place you've changed clothes ?
backseat of a car?

What's the CD in your player ?
hunter's mix

Anywhere you'd rather be right now ?
in his arms.

Are you going anywhere for the next summer ?
IDK!

Have you trespassed ?
haha yeah

Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side ?
some ketchup on the side

What's your favorite smell ?
princess vera wang. and others..

Do you like to sleep ?
yes

Are your parents over the age of 40 ?
yes

What are you looking forward to in the next 5 days ?
Victoria secret semi annual sale :D LOL

Do you like hugs ?
fo'sho

Do you live near your best friend ?
sorta yeahh

How many 20 dollar bills do you have on you right now ?
none. haha worthlssssss

What's some bad news you received lately ?
"Let's not go there."- same answer as Ayeh.

How is your relationship with your mother ?
shit :/

What color is the nail polish on your nails ?
RED

What color is your bedspread ?
red

Are you wearing makeup ?
nope

Can you walk into a room full of strangers and maintain your confidence ?
easily

Does anybody hate you ?
possibly i hope not.

Do you like anyone ?
... its complicated.

How do you feel about Hello Kitty ?
i wanna hello kitty land =]

If someone gave you $100,000 to shave your head, would you ?
maybe.. depends whos shaving and do i get a wig and how long will it take to grow back? haha

Do small children like you ?
yess

Do you think mushrooms are cool-looking ?
i think their funny looking.. but so are elbows. hahah

Did you receive anything special today ?
one on one yoga andd..

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? What would it say ?
no but itd say BANG.

Do you ever write in pencil anymore ?
occasionally

Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now ?
I don't want to lose anyone.

Have you ever cried from being so mad ?
yes

Is the last person you kissed mad at you ?
nope

Has anyone ever given you roses ?
yes

Who was the last person you shot a dirty look at ?
prolly my mom

If somebody liked you, would you want them to tell you ?
depends how. and prolly.

What was your mood all day long ?
just alright but good right now.

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them or see them ?
YESSSSS

Did anyone yell at you today ?
no not today

Are you missing anyone ?
yes <3

What time in your life would you like to put on repeat forever ?
the part where it ends? oh the hard questions.
uhm the part where you smile and you feel like your blushing but you hope that everyone else can FEEL that smile and you hope you can share it with them.

Have you lost a best friend in the past year ?
yeah.

Are you satisfied with how things are going ?
not really

On average, what do you cry most about ?
tragedy

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night ?
fuck i messed up. and
dang i feel warm
=)

Have you realized anything today ?
iris. stop procrastinating

Is anyone in love with you right now ?
probably =P

How many people do you have "a thing" for right now ?
omg. nono answer :x

Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you ?
does anyone?

Do you eat healthy ?
its a failed attempt

Have you ever tried your hardest, then got disappointed later on ?
Yep

Are you happier now ? Or three months ago ?
it all feels the same.. :/

What was the reason you last smiled ?
he told me I could be his. I'm so damn confused. OH BOY.

2OO8 : OVERVIEW

Stayed single almost the whole year ?
mhmm

Done something you've regretted ?
i dont do regrets
ive made a lot of stupid choices. lets put it that way.

Lost someone ?
uh huhh

Cut class ?
sorta

Were involved in something you'll never forget ?
definately

Visited a different country ?
nopee

Cooked a gross meal ?
yeah :[

Lost something important to you ?
sorta yeah.

Got a gift you adore ?
yess

Dyed your hair ?
nope

Came close to losing your life ?
interesting... no

Went to a party ?
plenty thanks..

Read a great book ?
does rereading count? yes.

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live ?
nope

2OO8 : FRIENDS & ENEMIES

Did you meet any new friends this year ?
Yep!

Did you dislike anyone ?
maybee not really. yes :P

Did you grow apart from anyone ?
mhmm

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships ?
some

2OO8 : YOUR BIRTHDAY !

Did you have a cake ?
YES

Did you have a party ?
of 3 amazing friends fo'sho!

2OO8 : ALL ABOUT YOU

Did you change at all this year ?
yes..

Did you change your style ?
something like that.. no?

Were you in school ?
uh huhh

Did you get good grades ?
sureeee

Did you drive ?
yeah yeah

Did you own a car ?
nopeee

Did anyone close to you give birth ?
not that i remember but probably

Did you move at all ?
nope

Did you go on any vacations ?
sure?

Would you change anything about yourself now ?
probably...

2OO8 : WRAP UP !

Was 2OO8 a good year ?
not really.

Do you think 2OO9 will be better then 2OO8 ?
i better ;]

JUST A QUICK ONE: 2008 IS OVER

[x] stayed single
[x] got kissed
[x] kissed someone new
[] kissed in the snow
[] kissed in the rain
[] had my heart broken
[x] celebrated Halloween
[x] broke someone else's heart
[] had a stalker
[x] lost a friend
[] had a good relationship with someone
[x] questioned my sexual orientation
[] came out of my closet
[] got pregnant
[] had an abortion
[] got married
[] had a divorce.
[] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] met someone that I will never forget
[x] did something I regret
[x] lost faith in love for awhile
[x] cried over a broken heart
[x] pretended to be happy
[] kissed under mistletoe
[] got a promotion
[] got a pay raise
[] changed jobs
[] lost my job
[] quit my job
[] dated a co-worker
[] dated my boss
[] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[] got fired from my job
[] got straight A's
[] failed a class
[] cut class
[] skipped school
[x] did something I was proud of
[x] proved myself an idiot
[x] embarrassed myself in front of the class
[] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[x] painted a picture
[x] wrote a poem
[x] ran a mile
[x] listened to music I couldn't stand
[x] double dipped
[] skinny dipped
[] went to a sleepover
[x] went to camp
[] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried
[x] flirted shamelessly
[] visited a foreign country
[] visited a foreign state
[x] cooked a disastrous meal
[x] lost something important to me
[] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[] tried to gain weight
[] dyed my hair
[] came close to losing my life
[] someone close to me died
[x] went to a wild party
[] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[x] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[] saw a favorite band live
[x] did something that I want to tell everyone
[x] experienced something new
[x] made new friends
[] found out who your real friends are
[x] lied to your parents
[] snuck out
[x] kissed in a pool
[x] kissed under the stars
[x] liked more than 5 people at once
[x] became closer to people
[x] went to a party
[x] had the time of your life
[x] danced
[I WISH.] fell out of love
[x] had a crush on someone
[] changed your sexual preference
[x] swam in a pool
[] made a snowman
[] went snowboarding
[] went sledding
[x] slept in past 2 pm
[x] held someones hand
[x] held someones hand that you care about
[x] told someone you like them as more than a friend
[] gone on vacation
[] gone on vacation with a friend
[x] driven a car
[] played strip poker
[x] danced in the rain
[] seen someone get in a car accident.
[] got in a fist fight.
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[ ] got hit by car
[ ] blacked out
[x] feared the future
[] sent someone to the hospital
[] had to go to the hospital
[x] got sick
[ ] had a major surgery
[ ] got a new pet
[x] mooned someone
[x] went over your minutes on your cellphone
[x] cut in a line of waiting people
[] kept your New Years resolution
[x] remembered your New Years resolution
[x] met someone who changed your life
[x] given up on someone
[] enjoyed this year overall

2009.
what's new erryone?

Goodbye 2008

you will not be missed.
you will not be forgotten (sadly).

what has happened?
what hasnt happened?
first African American is elected as President; change.

what have you lost?
what have you gained?
my soul count; my conscious

what do you want?
what do you need?
stability; compassion

what do you lack?
what do you crave?
trust; trust love



this year has sucked. hands down sucked. no not stunk. it has sucked.
cheats and lies.
ignorance and greed.
hate and denial.


I think there is much to improve on for 2009.
I also think that 2009 will suck.
unless if I START to turn things around.



OH SHIT.


have a happy new year.
happier then mine.
MUCH HAPPIER THAN MINE.
dont save that kiss for me.
dont give me a drink.

just move on.
look back,
forget, regret, save it for later.


fuck you 2008

:]

BREE BREE

last night was just
listning to music and
being stupid with
people you dont find annoying :]

with katie and allie
pics and vids
up sooner or later =P
you'll see them
and think we're stupid young immature kids.
that's because in some sense.
we are.

<3
never forget to live.

but but but no shit.

I might just be dreading the new year.
hope? not lost. not completely lost anyways.
what is there to look forward to?
more mistakes?
more time to pass?
more heartbreak and heartache?

things with parents.
i hate.
more and more. and it only builds inside of me.

I feel like a hallow empty shell.
like I'm taking up space, using money, doing nothing, wasting time
for no fucking reason


give 'em hell.
.. i already am :[



don't think i don't wanna make things better. i do.
but fuck fuck fuck
i cant do it. not with
the way communmication
isn't working
its more like

i wanna be left the fuck alone
and no one will leave me to be alone!

wanna make me happy?
act like you care.
dont just be there
guilting yourself and I by buying me things
that you know I don't need.


damn.

It's December 25

Merry Christmas

Fear of Long Words.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

hahahahhaha
:]

What are you thankful for?

English journal topic- written on Nov 24- Kralik 6th hour
yeah I don't know if I make sense in parts of it... but..

"I am thankful for air. It gives us life. It lets us live each day. I am thankful for freedom of speech which allows us to to speak our mind without controversy. I am thankful for friends; those who I can share laughter and tears with I greatly appreciate. I am thankful for family who support me. I am thankful for a sister who obliges to being a good sister. I am thankful for love, the ability to love which can make us nervous but still feel safe and can bring smiles out and usually the best of all people. I am thankful for having confidence because it brings me to many different places that I would not cross if not being confident. I am thankful for people who can make me blush because it makes me feel innocent. I am thankful for forgiveness which let's people start over when times are hard. I am thankful for time and age, two things we cannot control in our life that we can cherish or attempt to work against. I am thankful for education which can help us all lead to success and help us achieve our goals. I am thankful for wishes and dreams that let us feel like kids. I am thankful for music which takes my heart to somewhere where expressions are easily accepted. Most of all I am thankful for perfection, something that is only an opinion in a place where we are all flawed."

I wanna add-
I am thankful for random acts of kindness that can make a bad day, a semi-decent day.
I am thankful for laughter which shows us more than just happiness.


Happy Thanksgiving everybody.
*yeah that's tmrw. iknow

crepe fete

c'est bon.
ma mere n'est pas ici.
j'ai un meuiller temps.

... coincidentally anyways.
crepe fete was today.

uhm
you know some people
confuse me. bug me
or i dont know what to say to them at times.
a lotta ppl actually.
because what i wanna say
isnt what they want to hear? and i know that?
because I dont know what to say to them, they make me speechless?

i love how some people just DONT REPLY.

pft.
boys.
haha.

kevin helps me with math.
amazing.

Remember to Breathe

when this all passes, it'll be over.
it will only be the past.

I will get through this.

"Remember to breathe.
And everything will be okay."
-Dashboard Confessionals

No I am not avoiding you.

fuck you. you are really pissing me off. okay
YOU think that I'm just oh, not getting your calls, denying every time you want to hang out bc I don't want to?
Think again. I don't have time to.
well technically I do. But with everything
(piano, homework, reading, Other friends, family, and my own fucking health which is totally declining as well as personal time) I seem to be unable to.
You're fucking pissing me off.

so maybe i'll see you around.
and we'll chill or whatever.

wow i'm out.